An Ode To Parenting...

An year away from writing can really rust you up. So many things to say,, so many feelings to share. 

Last year, Life brought out the happiest moments. The best being called "Papa".Chehal entered my life, turned around everything. The past year has definitely made me realize the hardships of parenting, My respect for my parents has increased many fold. Not for the fact that I have realized how tough it is to manage kids and raise them, but for the fact that most of the part of my life after I started to understand it, I've blamed my parents for my shortcomings (which was a mistake). All my life I've lived with a regret, but now I am free from all those.  

There comes a time when you realize that the people who raised you are flawed, just like you. Having a kid doesn't make you smarter, holier or more reasonable. All it means is that you've chosen to replicate yourself in a smaller, more adorable version and are waging your bets that they'll turn out a little better than you did. 

My parents must have thought the same when they raised me. I realize it today when I decide for my daughter. 

Sometimes, When I sit and think about the future, I smirk. I laugh at myself ( and feel pity for myself as well) thinking how foolishly I discarded my parents when they gave out lectures on what to do in life. How foolishly I ignored those advice from them. How complacently I took life.

It has all added up today. Transformed me. Telling me, what to do and what - not -to - do. Preparing me, for all the sacrifices my parents have made for us, which in turn I will sacrifice for my daughter. Assuring me, One day, she will realize the worth of parents. 

Have loads to write about, but some other time.. Will be more regular from now on..

Ciao...

Wish,,,,,

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case........

When........

When the heart beats wild and loud,
When vision seems it all around,
When days are meant to wonder and dream,
When words are less to describe it may seem,
When the daylight seems dark and gloomy,
When time tests your patience with pain and agony,
When this pain you are ready to bear for life,
When for somebody you are ready to strive,
When company is all that you long,
When time spent together is treasured all along,
When every second is ruled by the thoughts,
When every word and action means a lot,
When pain is ready to take and joy to share,
When for someone you are always there,
When this is how in life you feel,
When this is how before time you kneel,
This is the time you never know happens how,
This is the time when you fall in LOVE....

You Will Be Mine !!!!

So what if today we are far apart,
U still reside in the hidden corner of my heart
So what if u don’t treat me as a friend any more?
I am learning to smile again; I will be successful for sure,
Whenever I miss u, I just get lost in memories of olden days
I still remember those lovely days, when in ur arms I use to lay....


So easily u moved on n now u treat me as stranger
Still i tried to help u out but then u took me as a challenger
Sometimes I feel so hurt that I lock myself in room n loudly I shout
Its u who was wrong, its u who lied, n then its u who have doubts?
My poems were never to blame u, they were just my feeling’s portray
Its u who played with my feeling, then why cant I call ur fake love a betray?


Sometimes I curse my fate, because I met u, because I loved u
My feelings were true, tell me, that’s why am i in blues?
Today, i try to run away from this feeling called love.
Because a heartless person came in my life n acted like a dove,


But the bitter truth is, I am still in love with you
I still wish to spend some moments even if they r few
I cry a lot then try to find u in my tears………….
That crying never gave me pain but brought both of us near
Perhaps unconsciously I am trying to dream of that time
When world will be beautiful, I will be yours n u will be mine



You will be mine……………
You will be mine…………….
You will be mine……………
You will be mine…………….

Analysing me !!!

3 Months for a new Blog, Enough to prove that I am a true procrastinator. 3 months, enough to prove that I can promise but cannot deliver. 3 months, enough to Analyze and Interpret what Vidhi had written about me.

Seldom you find people who are strangers and you connect with them as if you were friends for life. My second blog gave me a new friend Vidhi Agrawal. An aspirant MBA, A Superb Human being and a Handwriting Analyst. It was just a request from me, to analyze my Handwriting, which she not only accepted but what surprised me was being a stranger her analysis was JUST PERFECT.

I was surprised, for what was written by her was not only true, but It took me back a decade , to the REAL SHARAD. The analysis made me realize few things which I had forgotten during the course of time. It made me understand how we change with the changing world, but, our Core Nature remains the same. Our life is determined by the circumstances around us. 10 years back when life had me on knees, I should have prayed. rather, I became aggressive. Snapped relationships, betrayed friends, questioned loved ones. I was not the Sharad I used to be. I had changed for what seemed to me was for good, until I found myself alone. Things happened and I used to blame everyone, and then things went out of hand. Today, when I look back to those days, It seems so Silly, I seem so foolish. But again, Change , The only thing that is constant, I am back to the real Sharad.

Thanks Vidhi, without your analysis, It would have tough to get back to myself. It would have been tough to accept that I had changed for Bad.





P.S : Ayush Agrawal : Please take your sister's analyzing capabilities seriously. She is really talented.

In search of a Best Friend.

"Hello" I said.
"Hi, Hows you?" She promptly asked.
"I am fine" I replied , in a faint voice.
"Tell me what happened?" She said. I knew this was coming. She had read my voice again.
"Nothing re, In fact nothing is going my way". I was sounding frustrated (and I was)
"What happened?. Is there still a problem????" She inquired.
"My life is full of problems, God knows why all these things are happening to me. I mean, is it that hard to understand that we are Just BEST FRIENDS and nothing more."
She didn't need a clue what I was talking about. This had been going through for the past month and a half. We spoke to length and tried to figure out what was really bothering people (read person) with our friendship. I was frustrated and it was showing on my health. She had been through a rough time herself in her personal life for the past few days. It was as if we both were sailing in the same boat and still couldn't help each other.
"Everything will be fine. Trust me. Everything happens for good, so don't worry. I am going out now, will call you later." she wanted to end the conversation.
"OK. meet me in the evening if possible" I replied.
"Will see, Bye and Take Care"
"I will, Bye"
She disconnected.
Had I knew this would be the last time I am speaking to her, I would have never disconnected the call., She dint meet me that evening, never after that. Until last week when I had been for her marriage. I could see it, clearly, MY BEST FRIEND, going away. I was standing there alone amongst some thousand people.

Just a couple of days back I was speaking with my friend. Most of her friends proclaim her as their BEST FRIEND.
I just happened to question her, "Whom do u consider your BEST Friend amongst those?"
"No one" She replied.
I could just manage to ask, "Why? I mean, you have so many people calling you as their Best Friends and you don't consider any of them your Best Friend."
"Its simple. I don't see a Best Friend in them. They don't make me feel that way" she said casually.
Valid observation.A thing I realized that day, "You are not alone in this world, there are people who are going through the same feelings as I am going through."


"They don't make me feel that way" Those words invoked my friendless feeling.A feeling of not being special. Those words made me remember her. I had so many things to speak with her, So many things to share, So many thoughts which needed her attention, So many problems which needed her advice,but she was not there when I needed her. I don't blame her for not being there, I know it was a decision she took in my interest. But I miss her, everyday, every moment. I still stand by my window and see the parked vehicles in the parking lot. I still imagine us sitting there on the bikes and laughing together. I still remember the long chats. I still remember the confusion she had during her engagement. I can still manage a smile, with moist eyes. So much for FRIENDLESSNESS.. (If there is a word like that). I stand today with my past looking out to future without her,without my BEST FRIEND.

Thus began my search for a BEST FRIEND.

• I don't want someone who asks me whether I had Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner. I have a wife to do that.
• I don't want someone sharing his/her routine, what he/she did the whole day. I have my sister-in-law doing that. :-P
• I don't want someone dominating me, or getting angry on me for wrong reasons. I have my Boss to do that.
• I don't want someone who call me everyday just for the sake of calling. I have my bank people doing that.

So, what is that I really want?

• I want someone who would make me laugh and would laugh on my silly jokes.
• I want someone who would love to be with me.
• I want someone who would never crib about not giving enough time.
• I want someone who would do stupid things with me.
• I want someone who doesn't make me feel useless.
• I want someone who would not be bothered if I don't call for a week or so.
• I want someone who would understand what I am going through by just listening to my voice.
• I want someone who would accept me the way I am.

In short, I wanted her to be back in my life. If not her, someone exactly like her. The quest still continues, The search still on. Till that time I know I am alone without a Best Friend.

Someone has rightly said "Every one has a “BEST FRIEND” during each stage of life, but only lucky ones have the same friend in all the stages of LIFE."

My First Blog

Hello everyone...

The past few days have been very special for me. A self discovery may be. But, Putting these thoughts into words, A bit difficult job for me ( Which doesn't even pay me) . The very first thought of writing a Blog bought shudders to me, literally ( Its been a bit cold). Jokes apart, Writing has always been a hard task for me. I can quote, make great statements, Inspire someone through words, but, putting them in literal sense on a paper needed a lot of persuasion.

I really don't know what people actually write in blogs. Is it what they feel? What they know? Or what they want??? It seems really easy to say all these things but tough to really get any of these. I could easily go on writing what I feel, but then does anybody care is the question??? I can easily go ahead and write what I want.. but is there anybody who would give a damn???

People who know me would surely agree that I am bit reculsive, never forgetting and never forgiving kind of a person. The only thing that hurts me is Ignorance. My well-wishers and friends have always been telling me to improve my nature. But, there are few times in your life when something strikes you like lightning and you wake up. A person inspired me without her knowledge. Her writings, Her thoughts, made me wake up and think. To work on the paths of talent, you need a lot of appreciation and persuasion. and, when a person like me who is always trying to please people, because their opinion disturb me. But this person unknowingly made me realize my potential. Thanks Himani, I don't know you much, but your thoughts have surely inspired me. You are the only person responsible for this blog.

Now, The real reason why I have started blogging. I read somewhere that there are only 1411 tigers left in India, and I need to spread the message through BLOG. Now I am sure the Tigers are reading this and will start reproducing. The male tigers will search for female tigers for SEX and the female tigers will never complain of err.. PAW ache may be. But seriously, by writing here how can I help save tigers??? because the only way they can increase their population is by a) Tigers having Sex. b)Poachers not killing them. Surely both(Tigers and Poachers) are not gonna read and pay heed to my blog. But it gives me a great opportunity to blog.:-P

P.S : Ignore the grammatical mistakes (plenty of them), I am too lazy to correct them.